At home my little girl is a happy little chatterbox, she talks to her toys when playing and will tell me all about her day at nursery. However, her class teachers report the total opposite. They say she will join in activities and always does what she is told but is silent! She won’t talk to them or even answer her name in the register. I am very confused and was wondering if it is just shyness, whether she will grow out of it or whether I should seek professional help?
There are several reasons why a child might be talkative at home but does not speak at school. The important thing to find out is whether your child is simply shy or if they are suffering with something more serious like selective mutism.
These children could also be described as reluctant talkers. It is likely they will be lacking in confidence, have a quiet temperament and possibly quite a sensitive disposition. Due to this they will feel most happy and comfortable in their own home and with people they know well and where language is predictable and often repetitive. This is likely to be the situations that they will talk. When they are taken out of their comfort zone or suddenly asked to do something that they haven’t tried before they will feel very self-conscious which may show by them going red, being tearful and not speaking.
These children may occasionally talk quietly to their peers or adults they know better and will welcome adult support. They will want to get involved in activities but will need to observe other children getting it both right and wrong before they take a turn. If they are not put under pressure to speak and given time to get used to a situation they will eventually talk as they do at home.
Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder where children are comfortable to talk in situations they feel happy but will literally be unable to speak in other situations. It can be described as a phobia to talk and it is important to realise the children are not choosing to not speak; it is often described as having a physical blockage or a large lump in their throat, which is caused by muscular tension. It is not just shyness, the children will be experiencing extreme anxiety about speaking outside of their home due to a number of reasons including an actual fear of hearing their own voice outside their family.
These children generally present differently to shy children; they are less likely except help from adults and instead will suddenly shut down and back away if an activity is introduced. Not all children show their anxiety in the same way, however, some common signs include:
- giving limited eye contact
- being frozen to the spot and expressionless
- having other fears and social anxieties
- they may seem; socially awkward, nervous and clingy, excessively shy, serious, stubborn or aggressive (temper tantrums)
If a child has had selective mutism for over 6 months it is important that they see a speech and language therapist. If left untreated it can lead to the child growing up with low self- esteem, feeling isolated and can develop into a more serious social anxiety disorder. However, if diagnosed at an early age appropriate therapy should lead to the child successfully overcoming or managing the disorder. A speech and language therapist (SLT) can put in place a structured programme to gradually desensitise a child with selective mutism from the fear of talking they have built up. If you suspect your child could be suffering from selective mutism it is important to get a formal diagnosis from a SLT. You can do this through seeing your GP/Healthcare Practitioner who should refer you to an SLT (it is important you go to them with confidence and do not let them tell you it is something your child will grow out if). Unfortunately, not also NHS services take on children with selective mutism and if they do there will likely be a long wait for your child to be seen this way. Alternatively, you can contact an SLT directly.
Integrated Treatment Services is a private Speech and Language Therapy service based in Leicestershire but offer therapy services across the East Midlands, Southern England, Northern England and Northern Ireland. We specialise in providing highly-skilled Speech and Language Therapists, but also associates with other therapeutic professionals, including Occupational Therapists, Physiotherapists, Psychologists and Arts Psychotherapists. Selective mutism is very complex and needs an experienced SLT to lead a programme of intervention; I.T.S have highly experienced, specialised therapists to support you and your child. We have no waiting lists and a therapist in your local area can come and assess your child within a week of referral.
You can contact us by calling: 0845 838 2921 or simply email:info@integratedtreatments.co.uk. If you have found this article helpful and have more questions on this topic or you would like to suggest an idea for a topic you would like us to cover in future blogs then you can click ‘Ask us a Question’.
