So having just watched the eagerly awaited first episode of The A Word on BBC one tonight ! What did I, a mother of a boy with autism who is now 22 really think…..

My mind is racing as I could write a book but I will try to evaluate my immediate thoughts.

The A Word was honest, thought provoking but most importantly educating for watchers out there who know very little about a condition that has tried to dominate my parenting life over the last 22 years.

It’s so easy now to watch-on and spot the obvious mistakes Joe’s mum Alison was making and the utter pain she was causing herself and those closest to her but when you are in the thick of it or rather the nightmare that won’t leave you alone – you just cannot see the wood for the trees and so you do what you think is right with the protection of your oddly behaving child at heart.  She knew that her son Joe was different but denial is a very strong emotion and can completely take over as acceptance takes a lot longer to swallow.

To throw ‘a birthday party’ into the mix in the same episode as ‘diagnosis’ was almost too much to bear as both these experiences have memories for me so etched in my mind I could retell them for evermore.

Of course as a mum you want to throw the biggest and best birthday party for your delicious albeit oddly behaving child!  And yes, of course you invite the whole class as to not miss anyone out ( as you appreciate more than anyone how it feels to be on the receiving end of this). In hindsight it’s the last thing in the world your child appreciates – noises, smells, over stimulating sights. A complete sensory over load in every-way, but ‘it’s what every parent does for their child’s birthday ‘ – isn’t it ?

As for the diagnosis …. I had to watch behind a cushion.  The dad typically responding by helping or should I say forcing his child to be normal as the mum looks on in total fear of what the specialist is about to say !  No diagnosis is easy or perfect and in many ways the inevitable outcome needs to just hurry up so that the tears can follow and things can start to slowly, ever so slowly move forward.  It was brutal, harsh but honest and a good reflection of how diagnosis is done.  There’s no buttering-up for how you tell a parent that their child is not the normal stereotypical child they thought they had given birth to.  As least both parents were there to somehow support each other.

I also found the relationship and emotions played out by the grandfather very realistic and honest as so often grandparents and extended families are forgotten or missed out when it comes to the pain felt when a child is diagnosed with autism.

So now Joe has a diagnosis of autism .  Here comes the tricky part……I await with baited breath for episode two.

Written on behalf of Integrated Treatment Services by Sally Creedon